In this special feature, Sara Naveed sits down with Kathryne Savage Imabayashi — a passionate educator, global leader, and founder of Sonhood Coaching. With decades of experience across continents, Kathryne shares insights from her journey and her mission to reshape how we understand and support boys in today’s world.
QH: What’s the biggest challenge in raising boys today, and how can parents navigate it?
Imabayashi: As a society we often fail to understand the world our boys are growing up in and the societal pressures they feel to adapt to outdated ideas of what it means to be masculine. Until we uncover our own misconceptions of what it means to be male and then deepen our understanding of our boys’ inner emotional world, we will not be able to give them the support they need. Awareness is the first step, followed by becoming more knowledgeable. And then, it’s time to take action — to create the change our boys deserve.
QH: What’s one simple habit that can help parents build a strong and trusting bond with their sons?
Imabayashi: Often parents find themselves caught in cycles of misbehaviour and miscommunication. There’s one simple question that can shift everything: “Will what I’m about to say—and the way I say it—strengthen my relationship with my son, or weaken it?” If we can keep one phrase in the forefront of all our conversations, we will focus on what is truly important – connection over correction, and relationship over reaction.
QH: How can parents foster resilience and independence in boys while ensuring they feel emotionally supported?
Imabayashi: Understanding your son’s inner emotional world is key to knowing how to empower and guide him. When we recognise the devastating effect of shame on a boy we can help strengthen his resilience with empathy and compassion. Fostering independence starts with creating an environment where he feels safe to take risks, make mistakes, and solve problems on his own. Having conversations to create an understanding of when things go wrong and how to approach things differently in the future will ensure he has the tools to face future challenges.
QH: What’s a common misconception about raising boys that you’d like to debunk?
Imabayashi: “Boys will be boys!” perpetuates the harmful misconception that boys are naturally aggressive or rough due to testosterone, and misbehaviour is often excused. This phrase also implies that boys are less emotional than girls, and results in boys often suppressing their real feelings. It says that boys aren’t expected to be able to control themselves and so are not held up to appropriate standards for behaviour and responsibility. Believing this phrase to be true does both boys and everyone around them a great disservice.
QH: If you could share one golden rule for raising confident and well-rounded boys, what would it be?
Imabayashi: Always remember that your son is doing the best he can at any given moment, with the tools and skills he has available to him. When he CAN do better, he WILL. This applies to us as parents as well. We do the best we can in any given moment, using the tools we have available to us. When we can do better, we will.
